Kyle Seth Gray

Way back last year, in anticipation of my Apple Watch and wanting to be more fit, I got back into running. I previously would run, and I had the great opportunity of having a friend who got me into it, but I had never really gotten back into it for almost a year at that point. To get back into I used Runkeeper on my iPhone, and focused on just going farther and farther. Once I got my Apple Watch, it escalated a lot more and I wanted to keep on pushing my calorie goal more and more.

That, relatively speaking, didn't last a long time.

Although I ran more than I had before, and was able to go further and loved the hell out of it, there was a point where because I was so new, I pushed myself a little too hard. I got injured, (in July, my left ankle and right knee), and ended up completely grinding to a halt.

From there I kind of fell into a spot of laziness. Going from running about 5 miles every day (which was me pushing myself too hard), not allowing for a full recovery, and probably getting a little too reliant on a runners high, I ended up getting just really let down and lost some motivation to keep on pushing myself.

Now, this year, I started running (finally) after about 4 complete months of not running at all. And man has it felt a lot better this year. I’ve been making sure to follow a training plan, but, since obviously no training plan can know how you feel, I made sure to not push myself too hard simply because my iPhone or Apple Watch told me too. Sure, missing a day may make me lose a shiny virtual badge, but I needed to make sure that I didn’t fall into that same slump again.

Earlier this month, I ended up doing something, (I’m still not entirely sure what since as much as I would LOVE to get an MRI, they're expensive), to my knee, making it so I can’t really run those 14+ milers I would usually do, or even run about 1/2 of a mile without pain. So instead, I’ve focused on what I can do: I used the elliptical a lot over spring break, and now I'm working on stationary cycling. I visited a doctor and figured out what I should focus on while we wait and see if my meniscus is toast or if maybe (please) it’ll heal on its own, and a stationary cycle and elliptical are what came up as alternatives to running.

This week I’ve started using a stationary cycle at the gym, and I’m making sure to start off slow. I want to push myself, because I have calorie goals and previous bars that I’ve set that I need to reach, like running for long stretches of time, but I’m also making sure that I familiarize myself with how to exercise in new ways so I’m not completely reliant on running.

Hopefully I'll be able to get back into running soon, and once that day comes I’ll probably be running a lot faster than I should at first, but I know to pace myself. I can reach the same goals without suddenly becoming a marathon runner overnight, and I can definitely beat the goals and previous ‘records’ I’ve set for myself.

Hey there. A blog. That's what this is.

But for the past six months or so I've completely neglected it, and written some unpublished drafts.

I don't know why this was, and I'm not entirely sure why I felt so... unsure and underestimated my own self, but that's what happened. I stopped writing, I felt like crap, stopped running as much, and rarely even went anywhere.

I'm hoping to change that with 2016. I've already posted 4 Vlogs, which have not only encouraged me to actually do more, but have helped me see what I need to do better in, as well as helping me get my voice back.

Maybe I'll write a little more in 2016. I hope I will and it is my goal. But right now I'm focusing on the vlogs I have. It's a little easier to focus on that daily, as well as more consumable to anyone that comes across them.

If anything, maybe I'll remember to start using my website as a journal of sorts, or just a regular b l o g, posting things about what I'm doing, pictures of where I've been, and interesting things I've seen.

And I think 2016 will be a better year.

Something I realized today:

My ankle has been hurting a lot over the past few days. I’ve taken ibuprofen, tried to not walk as much, and generally just been resting it, right?

Today it’s gotten a little bit worse, nothing major, just really really sore. And I just kinda figured out something:

I’m sitting here with who knows what wrong with me, searching the internet for my symptoms haphazardly, rather than going to a trained professional that would know what is wrong and be able to help me, if there is in fact something wrong.

Why?

I’m worried that if I did in fact go to a doctor/physical specialist, that either I would waste their time and nothing be wrong, or find out what is wrong, and have to pay a crazy fee for medicine, and the actual care, etc, etc.

And because of fees and other high costs, I would rather wait it out than have a doctor take a look at it. Simply because it does have the possibility of getting better, and not having to shell out $40, $80 for a one time checkup, when nothing might not even be wrong. Or being charged an even a crazier amount of money for a one time check up if I happen to stumble into the wrong physicians office, or even the same physician I've gone to before because they’re out of coverage by my health insurance. [This actually happened earlier this year, where a doctor I had gone to for a yearly checkup suddenly wasn’t covered under my insurance four months later.]

I try to stay away from negative posts, and I know this doesn’t seem to accomplish much to complain, but I couldn’t help but notice the issues in the incredibly screwed up American Healthcare system. Where some, and probably a lot of people, would find going to the doctor a waste of time and money. Where you have to best your luck if you don't want to go to the ER but feel really sick and have to find the right urgent care center that's 10 miles away, just so you don't end up with a hospital bill that is ran through a random number generator.

But by all means, thank goodness I'm insured. And thank goodness a lot of people are insured, despite the fact that it may do jack diddly when it comes to actually helping them be able to pay rent and live a healthy life.

Now I’m going to go back to icing my leg for reasons unknown and taking ibuprofen.